One of the best things I learned about myself while on vacation in Mexico is that I have a hard time being nice to myself. It sounds silly, but when it was just me on a vacation, where I was supposed to be letting myself have fun and relax, I could really see who it was not letting me do what I wanted – ME! After allowing some people to convince me to go on tours day 1 and day 2 of my trip (these are the best deals, you have to book them now!), I was feeling grumpy and annoyed on Sunday night. I was tired from sitting in buses and hearing people tell what I should go see and when I had to be back. I was in the most beautiful place, with the beach as my backyard, the dream vacation I wanted, yet I still wasn’t really relaxing. The anxious thoughts I was thinking about what I should and needed to do in order to make the best use out of my own time was getting to me. I was getting on my own nerves!
Being disciplined is a good quality, but not when you’re on vacation. You really need to let yourself do what your heart desires, let go of what other people are doing or what other people think you should be doing. I prayed Sunday night and asked Got to heal my thoughts – to help me not to be anxious or negative.
The next morning I allowed myself to sleep in as late as and then went down and talked to the concierge about something I have always wanted to do – get a massage at the Spa! After having a leisure breakfast where I ate slowly and enjoyed the amazing juices, omelette, fruits, and of course coffee, I went up to the Heavenly Spa (yes that was the name of the hotels spa!). I had never gotten a massage at a Spa before and this one was beautiful and truly lived up to its name. Relaxing music, a special robe and flip flops, iced water with fruit in it, and lovely aromatherapy scents in the air. I laid in the jacuzzi drinking the fruit water, sat in the sauna until I couldn’t take it, and spent some time in the steam room until I heard “Miss Laura” and a lady came to get me.
My masseuse Rafaella was the sweetest woman and seemed to know exactly the right pressure and how to rub out all of the kinks in my body for the next 80 minutes. She even braided my hair in this way that made my face feel good! I ended that massage feeling like a new woman. This was the vacation I wanted! I was allowing myself to have what I wanted and do what I wanted. I was relaxing. This was what I came to Mexico to do! The rest of the day was beautiful. I spent it lounging by the private beach behind my hotel, falling asleep, reading my book, taking walks, mini-swims and coming back to the chair with a grin on my face. I had a delicious dinner on the beach that night of Mahi Mahi, steamed vegetables, and rice. I felt amazing, refreshed, and so grateful. The night couldn’t have ended any better but God blessed me with a gorgeous sunset too.
Sitting hear tonight I am again grateful because I’m remembering that day and how good it feels to be kind to myself! It is so hard to just let go, accept yourself and the situation you are in, but when you do, you become truly free.
Well how does it end when the war that you’re in
Is just you against you against you
Gotta learn to love, learn to love
Learn to love your enemies too
I’m glad I’m learning how to love myself more and more and hope this inspires you to be kind to yourself too!
P.S. If you feel like you’re having trouble with anxious and/or negative thoughts, I feel your pain. My mind can be my worst enemy sometimes. Thankfully, I have a God who helps me and anyone who comes to Him and asks (John 14:13-14). One of my favorite verses of all time is Philippians 4:6-7 “Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. 7 And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.”