In the past few months I’ve been working hard in my new role, and trying to figure out how to better myself. I realized that I do that a lot – strive, work hard, try to become better. Last weekend I went to this awesome conference called Powerful & Free (hosted by globalcelebration). On Friday, someone gave me a powerful word that really opened my eyes. They said “It’s not your fight”.
This person didn’t know me. They didn’t realize how I’ve spent my life trying to better myself in every possible way – mentally, physically, emotionally, etc. I not only try to better myself, but I also think about how I want to help better the world around me. I hate discord. I hate seeing people struggle. There’s something inside of me that just wants to do whatever I can to help people be happy!
While I’m climbing the never ending hill to get to “better”, I end up fighting a war in my mind. It starts out with wondering what I should do, how I should go about things, who I should talk to, what I should say, what I should NOT say, when is the right timing, and then before I know it I can’t sleep and I start feeling anxious, stressed, down, and exhausted!!
Did you know that thinking takes up energy? Your brain fires electrical energy to create all of the thoughts that it does. And when you are thinking too much, you get REALLY tired! If you’re me, you get really annoyed at yourself too 😛
Of course God came through for me as He always does. He gave me a verse to meditate on. “Cease striving and know that I am God; I will be exalted among the nations, I will be exalted in the earth.” (Psalms 46:10) Other translations say “Be still” instead of “Cease striving”; and both of these things are necessary for me.
As I sit and think about that verse my mind starts to think about God and who He is – the Creator of the world (Elohim), the Most High (El Elyon), the All-Sufficient One (El Shaddai). Instead of wandering in circles, my mind starts to becomes calm and my heart is filled with joy and peace!
I remember that Jesus Christ’s love for me has not changed – no matter what I’m trying to accomplish, what thoughts are creeping up in my mind, how successful or unsuccessful I am, who I have helped, or who I have hurt, His love for me does not change. It doesn’t even matter what translation of the Bible I read! (Hebrews 13:8)
The wallpaper on my phone says “You are a unique expression of God’s love”. I’m glad I put that quote there to remind me of this truth, especially when I’m having one of those days where it feels like my head is on fire. I stop being frustrated at myself, calm my thoughts, and start remembering who my Creator is and exactly who I am. God created me in love and made me who I am because He loves me.
I used to think being unique was not so great, but, there really is only one “LG”, and since the hand of God made me, there is nobody else that I want to be.
I am done with fighting – I am already victorious because He set me free! But God demonstrates His own love toward us, in that while we were yet sinners, Christ died for us. Romans 5:8