Last year I wrote a year-end review to share about my year and how God showed up in unexpected ways. This year I want to share about things that only happened during the year because of God. 2017 was not easy – I know I’m not the only one that experienced difficulties. I didn’t even take time to blog (something that I hope to change in 2018!).
The year started with an increase of medical issues – seizures. Seizures aren’t fun. They are scary and they make you make you feel anxious and depressed. Because I have epilepsy, I have experienced seizures before; however, I take medication so my seizures are controlled. When I started experiencing seizures again in 2017 it was really depressing. I didn’t like waking up wondering what had happened the night before, why my head was pounding and why I felt confused. I didn’t understand why I had to go through this during that point in my life. I had just started a new role, I wanted to go above and beyond in it, not be tired and weak because of seizures.
I finally decided to see a new neurologist at the end of April to get help. I didn’t want to present my issues, but I knew I couldn’t keep going on in the state I was in. There was definitely something wrong with me. Unfortunately that visit was not what I expected. As I was crying telling the doctor some of the experiences I had, she handed me a tissue and said some words like “that must be hard”, but then told me that after failing anti-epileptic drugs, what I really needed to consider was brain surgery. She also said she would be reporting me to the DMV since California law does not allow someone to drive if they have had any seizures. I expressed my concerns about brain surgery, and after some prodding, my neurologist agreed to prescribe me a higher dosage of one of the medications I was taking. She still told me I needed to consider brain surgery and at least undergo monitoring to see if I could be a candidate for brain surgery. After that visit I was in a state of shock. I had my license suspended before, but I had never been told there were no other options besides brain surgery, which seemed so extreme.
I was also upset about not being able to drive – I had just bought a new car and I didn’t understand why God was letting this happen. As I prayed I felt Him telling me to take the time where I wasn’t driving and spend it with Him, He would use it for my good. I would have to slow down in the morning, walk to the Bart, and use Uber and my friends for rides.
The year moved forward and I obeyed. I let my new car collect dust in my parking space while I walked to work. I took time to notice flowers, breathe in the fresh air, and actually enjoyed the time I had to get to the Bart, which was more than when I was driving since I didn’t have to rush to make sure I would get a parking space. After the summer passed I started to get really tired from all of the walking and God put in on my heart to buy a bike. Only God would tell me to do something like that! I had such a fun time picking out the bike and buying it.
During this time, I continued to press into God and pray, as well as read the Bible. God put it in my heart to read the entire Bible, which I finished in 6 months. As I grew closer to Him, peace grew in my heart. I knew that I was a conqueror in Him, He was for me, not against me (Romans 8:31), and whatever plans He had for me would be prosperous (Jeremiah 29:11)!
God worked through a close friend of mine to bring me to a healing prayer night led by a doctor and minister, who prays specifically for areas of the brain. That night was an amazing night, I was excited because I expected healing, but I also was nervous because I didn’t know what that would feel like. That night was one of the most incredible nights of my life. Only God would orchestrate a meeting like, to allow me to be prayed over by someone who knows the brain, who could pray for the chemicals in my brain, and for the way that the brain works. I felt a fog that had been in my head break and lift and a new lightness settle in. I came home that night a new woman, feeling even more loved by God, and amazed by His love for me.
There are more things that happened last year that I could share that only God did for me. I saw that what the Word of God says is completely true and applies to me! I felt God’s grace pour over me as I reached out to Him and He came close to me. I want to share these things because I want you to know that just like God helps me, He will help you too. All it takes is asking, seeking, and knocking (Matthew 7:7-8). You will find not only the God who supplies all your needs, but the Lord Jesus who is your Savior, Comforter, and Friend.
Do not fear, for I am with you;
do not be afraid, for I am your God.
I will strengthen you; I will help you;
I will hold on to you with my righteous right hand.